I'm sorry, My love
by monkeys-love-nanners
Summary: Another Fanfiction in new moon. Will Bella die? Will someone save her? READ AND REVIEW!ONE SHOT? ' I am quitting this story.'
1. Chapter 1

I OWN NOTHING! STEPHENIE MEYER DOES! READ AND REVIEW MY OTHER STOIRES TOO!

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_I'm so tired of being here_

_Suppressed by all of my childish fears_

I was bored. Bored of the pain. Ever since he left, I really don't see a reason for living.

How would you feel if you had nothing? No one to care about you? Even Charlie had given up hope on me.

_And if you have to leave_

_I wish that you would just leave._

I wish you didn't leave, love.

_Cause your presence still lingers here\_

_And it wont leave me alone_

_These wounds wont seem to heal_

_This pain is just too real_

_There's just too much_

_That time cannot erase_

It was true. If I ever did something stupid, I could hear his voice. I became addicted to it. Like it was my own personal brand of heroin. He had is, and then I had mine.

We weren't together long. But fell in love we did. Or at least I did.

_When you cried I'd, wipe away all of your tears_

_When you scream I'd, fight away all of your fears_

_And I held your hand through all of these years_

_But you still have…All of me._

I slammed the radio off with my hand. The radio broke, while the sharp pain from my hand oozed blood. However this pain…was so relieving. It distracted the pain from my heart. For just a split second, I felt a happiness I hadn't felt in so long.

But what id I should just end it? Leave the pain for good? He didn't love me. Charlie had given up. Renee had Phil. Everybody at Forks high shunned me away from them. Except Angela. Angela had Ben, he would help her.

Jake.

He doesn't care for me either. 'I wasn't good for him', were his words.

There's only so much pain I can go through. It needs to stop. Now

I pulled out a couple pieces of paper and a black ink pen.

I wrote one to Charlie.

**Dear Dad,**

**By the time you read this, I will be dead. Thank you for loving me. I'm sorry I couldn't help you. My time here on Earth was coming to an end anyway.**

**X- Isabella.**

I sealed it shut.

I wrote one to Jake.

**Jake,**

**I'm sorry. So sorry. **

**Sorry I was stupid enough to play the game over again.**

**Sorry to waste your time**

**Sorry for living.**

**I love you like my brother. Even though you don't love me, these are my parting words. I need to make the best of them.**

**X- Marie.**

I sealed that one shut also.

I wrote one to Edward.

**My love,**

**Remember I love you. I understand your feelings. I am just a weak worthless human after all. Tell Alice I love her and I'm sorry.**

**Tell everyone else that I love them, even Rosalie. She was the one who didn't lead me on, and I'm thankful for that.**

**My heart will give its last beats for you**

**My lips will whisper your name until they close.**

**My eyes will remember yours before they close.**

**My love for you, however, will be immortal.**

**Don't feel guilty about my decision. It was meant to be, as such. Thank you for playing your game though. I will cherish the 'love' you gave me and will remember it dearly.**

**ALL MY LOVE**

**X- Swan.**

Tears fell steadily as I sealed the last letter. I labeled everybody's letters, but on Edward's, I bit my lip hard enough to draw blood and drew a heart on the top in my crimson regret.

I snatched a knife from the kitchen counter and walked out the door, Clad in only jeans and a t-shirt. Hardly appropriate for the December weather.

I walked. Step by step in a different direction each minute. So I could get lost. So nobody would find me.

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After walking aimlessly for hours, I ended up in the woods. I sat down on a decaying tree.

I briefly looked up at the sky and looked back down. I looked at the shining silver blade laying ahead of me…taunting me.

Snow began to fall, chilling my already cold body.

'_Bella, don't do this. I love you!'_

"No. No you don't. I'm so sorry."

I snatched the knife greedily and held it to my wrist and cut deeply. Blood began to quickly pour out of the raw wound.

'_BELLA! DON'T! You need to stop! YOU'LL DIE!' _he screamed in my mind as I made another deep wound similar to the other on my right wrist.

I laid my head back. The stinging was sweet relief. It brought minimal pain compared to the burning hole in my heart.

'_Bella, please, stay alive. For me.' _the velvet voice pleaded.

"I'm sorry Edward. This is my addiction." I spoke. My words becoming softer and softer due to the amount of blood loss.

"Goodbye." I whispered as the lights in my world blacked out.

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**OKAY. SHOULD THIS BE A ONE-SHOT OR DO YOU GUYS WANT ME TO MAKE THIS INTO A STORY? TELL ME!**


	2. Chapter 2

**I DON'T OWN ANYTHING! STEPHENIE MEYER DOES! **

Well, you asked for it…I'm making I'm sorry, My love has been turned into a story!! Yay!

So people please, leave some reviews. I'm intending to be an author when I grow up, and I need words of confidence and critique. If any of you lovely readers would help me, this would be highly appreciated.

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"_Goodbye," I whispered as the lights in my world blacked out…_

**EDWARDS POV**

I cant take it any longer! I need to see her, my love.

Its been 6 months, 3 days, and 17.2 seconds since I've seen her. I've tried to hold onto my images of Bella, trying to recreate her scent in my mind, bu**t **it only keeps me satisfied for a short amount of time.

My only wish right now is that Bella will forgive me and we can be together again. Oh, my heroin.

Suddenly a flashback hit me in a way almost violent.

"_Bella, I don't want you. I only loved you for your scent. I've let this go on much too long and I'm sorry for that." the sickest words were rolling out of my marble lips. All of these lies…Bella please don't believe any of them. _

_I saw with my impeccable sight that Bella's chocolate brown eyes turned confused and pained._

"_You…don't…want me?" she asked. I could already see the belief growing in them._

_Then, the word most hard for me to utter in this situation slipped me lips for her own good will._

"_No."_

_The pain raging in her eyes wanted me to tell her this was all just a cruel sick joke. But wasn't it?_

_The sadistic way of how everything can change so quickly, I mean? You fall in love, but your not allowed because of stupid rules and ludicrous guide lines. _

"_Oh…well that changes things." she spoke so calmly, as if she was expecting for this to happen. As if she knew. Bella, no! Why? How can you believe this sick lie?… but not that truth?_

_I was almost about to lose my façade of 'not loving my angel.' Impossible._

_I ran away, releasing dry sobs as each step of my feet lead my further and further away from the only thing worth living in my existence._

_Bella._

I squinted my eyes shut due to the unbelievable amount of pain tugging on my heart strings.

I was currently sitting in my silver Volvo, speeding to Forks, Washington. I turned on the radio, in hopes that it would distract me from the pain…even though I knew these attempts were in vain.

_I'm so tired of being here_

_Suppressed by all of my childish fears_

_And if you have to leave_

_I wish that you would just leave_

'_Cause your presence still lingers here_

_And it wont leave me alone_

_This wounds wont seem to heal_

_This pain is just too real_

_There's just too much that time cannot erase_

_When you cried, I'd, wipe away all of your tears_

_When you screamed, I'd fight away all of your fears_

_And I held your hand through all of these years_

_But you still have…All of me…_

I slammed the radio with my hand, breaking it, making it effectively turn off. That song…it reminded me so much of me and my love. Nobody would understand…the bond Bella and I made even through the first week of our relationship, I knew we were meant to be, and that I would do anything and everything to try and help her.

That's why I made my decision to leave Forks.

So she would be safe. My eyes were grim, yet satisfied that I managed to stay away for 6 months, 3 days, and 4 minutes. But the minutes and moments without her were becoming more and more painful and unbearable.

I was now rounding my way up to Bella's house and I still saw the faded rusty Chevy truck sitting in the driveway. My heart was getting excited, to see something of Bella's possessions.

But something seemed off to me…even though her mouth watering scent was still strong, it was a little old. And if she wanted to leave, she needed to have some sort of transportation which was sitting in the driveway.

I started to worry.

I sniffed and traced her scent and it lead into the woods.

Bella knew she promised not to do anything reckless or stupid while I was gone.

However, before I left, I saw something flow out of the window, and it smelled of Bella's blood.

I ran quickly and picked up the white piece of paper that held my loves still prominent blood on top. It was addressed to me.

I read the letter and by the time I was finished, more guilt and pain were stacked onto me like iron bars

Where did she go? If I couldn't save her in time, there wasn't a doubt in my mind that I would follow her into the afterlife.

Not. One. Doubt.

I ran towards her memorizing scent, smelling it getting stronger and stronger by the second. Too strong.

"Goodbye Edward. This is my addiction." I heard Bella's sweet voice very nearly whisper. I roared with pain and panic. I couldn't lose her again, I just found her!

"Bella, please, please, don't give up. FIGHT FOR ME!" the last part was roared in pain. Due to a number of two things.

1. She was giving up.

AND

2. Her heart stopped beating.

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**Okay, I'm really really sorry! But what should I do? I have a story related to this one called Not Dead but Not gone, but what should I do? I DON'T want a similar plot.**

**If any of you readers have suggestions, please PM me or review with that green button located at the bottom of the page. And did you like EDWARDS POV?! If you do, I can write more chapters in his POV.**

**Please review! It would be so Nickelback!**

**Lol.**

**-Monkeys-love-nanners-**


	3. Chapter 3

Dear readers,

I don't know if I want to continue my stories, or if I just want a fresh start and make one story on how I've wanted it to look all along. In conclusion, I am canceling most of my stories- due to negative responses and embarrassment. After all of the negative responses, I realize I have to start over. One new story will be arriving and I will hopefully update up to every week. I am sorry to everyone who liked my stories even though I wasn't a good writer.

If anyone wants me to start writing a new story or wants me to quit all together, please leave me a message telling me your decision in a kind way.

Once again, I am terribly sorry, but those will not be put up for adoption.

-Cassi.


	4. Chapter 4

Hey Everyone.

I made my own story called, 'My Trademark,' on fanfictionpress. Check it out and review.

P.S. Im making anew story for Twilight and the first chapter should be coming out soon!

My username on fanfictionpress is EveBonet91210. Please check out my story and tell me if you like!

Love to all'

Monkeys love nanners


	5. Help me pick a story

**Okay, guys, thought I was dead? Wrong! **

**I've been wondering what story you would like me to make a new chapter on. Tomorrow, I'm home the whole day and I'll be really bored, so give me TWO STORIES you want to me to write tomorrow!**

**Please help me pick! **

**-monkeys-loves-nanners**


	6. PLEASEE!

_**PLEASEE! READ! **_

_**You guys! I know you think I've been dead! I HAVENT! **_

_**Listen, I need some ideas for my stories! I'm coming up blank! If you give me an idea and I like it, I'll give you a shout out and all that jazz!**_

_**Tell me which stories you like the best, and I can retype them and add some more new chapters. I feel so bad for not updating as frequently as I used to! D: So please, help me out! I HATE PUTTING YOU GUYS THROUGH THIS! **_

_**If I fail you like this ever again, I'm even giving you permission to get mad at me and write mean stuff! But please, leave a review or send a pm! **_

_**PLEASE! PLEASE!PLEASE!**_

_**-monkeys-love-nanners**_

_**PLEASE**_

_**Prologue**_

_**I, myself, always had thought I had a great group of my friends. Some girls, some boys. I always thought of them as being really trustworthy people. Even through out the years, by no means, on how many fights we got into, or how much stuff we were disagreeing on, we always seemed to move beyond that.**_

_**Always.**_

_**I guess I was wrong.**_

_**Chapter 1**_

"_**Its about time," I complained to my best friend, Elizabeth. "I mean, I don't know how much longer I could've put up with all those icky sixth graders."**_

"_**Ann, you are a sixth grader," she reminded me.**_

"_**Well, not anymore." I said happily while we walked the halls of our elementary school.**_

_**Finally, we were going to be in the eighth grade! That means, no more being treated like a kid. It was summer '09, bahy! And I was going to enjoy it with Elizabeth, and as many of my friends as possible. **_

_**Elizabeth, or as I like to call her 'Liz', have always been the friends. But that wasn't until fifth grade, when we finally pronounced to each other we were best friends. Liz had beautiful shoulder length hair and gorgeous amber eyes. She was short at the height of 5'5, just like me, but that was considered an average girl height in Ohio. Actually, Elizabeth and I were very advanced for our age, her being more so than me. But we understood things better than a normal 12 year old would, or so I thought. We ranged ourselves in the high school category…not to sound cocky or anything. Sometimes I have a bad habit of doing that. Sorry.**_

"_**We need **_**to have at the very least, three sleepovers." Liz told me as we passed fellow classmates walking in the opposite direction. I recognized some. They were considered, more or less, in the popular crowd. We weren't so into that, but of course you had to know their names since they were just **_**so**_** amazing. Blak.**

"**Deal," I told her looking in her eyes.**

**We made our way out to the busses, and silent departed with a few blubbery goodbyes and a big hug, and made our ways in the opposite direction, not looking back once, knowing that if we did, we'd just be running back into each other's arms. That was one of the many things considered the same about us, we were both very stubborn. We didn't want to admit when the other one was right, and we were wrong. I don't know if that's just Liz and I, or human nature, but either way, we were stubborn as males. And proud of it, too.**

**I guess you could call me a sarcastic person. But, honestly, what kind of person doesn't have sarcastic moments? I just tend to have them more regularly, nothing wrong with that. **

**Once I reached the **_**'oh so'**_** comfortable leather seat of the bus, I took my ipod out and drowned myself in the music, getting lost in certain beats and rhythms and lyrics. **

**I was dropped off at home about 10 minutes later, and once I was, immediately I remembered to turn on my phone which was in back pocket. I have such a horrible memory sometimes, Liz often teases me about it. Oh well.**

**My phone buzzed on to see I had a new test message from Liz. **

_**Hey, can we have a sleepover ASAP? I have something to tell you.'**_

**What? Why couldn't she just tell me at school? Of course, I had no rising suspicions except something was wrong.**

_**Sure! Lemme just ask my parents, k?**_

**That night, I talked to my mom and step dad, even though I looked at him as more of my father figure, and asked if we could have a sleepover. They both rave about how such a sweetheart she is all the time. I will admit sometimes I do get jealous because I think my parents love her more than me, but push those thoughts away when I realize I'm just acting insecure.**


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